14 Hours

Hey guys,

If you’re looking for one of my infrequent updates at this blog, you’re looking in the wrong place.

It’s going on hiatus!  Go, instead, to Washington2Washington, a new (shared blog) from Cait and I documenting our trip across the USA for the next month.

I can’t promise that we’ll update every day, but we’ll do our best.  There will be days, most of which will be while we’re sleeping in National Parks, that we can’t update.  But I’ve been assured that most of our KOA campsites and our hostels have WiFi that is easily accessible, so the only real obstacle is our combined laziness.  Which, come to think of it, is a formidable opponent indeed.

See you on the other side.

My Life Is Average

Way funnier than FML.

He may have hijacked the graduation speech…

…but it held my attention.

It’s a speech from Keith Rattie, CEO of Questar Corp.  Questar is a natural gas development corporation in Utah.  For whatever reason, he gave a speech to a graduating class about the fallacies of cap-and-trade, global warming, and what can be done to address the issue.  Or, as Rattie points out more than once, if anything should be done at all.

It’s interesting reading, anyway.  These facts have been out there for a while, but this version is a bit easier to digest.  It’s also ten pages, so dig in.

Quick Update. Quipdate.

The job hunt is, as yet, fruitless.  However, I’m feeling good about the rhythm I’m developing as I hone my resume writing skills back to their formerly keen edge.  It’s a recession – that’s at least SOMETHING to feel good about.  Resume rhythms.  Sigh.

In the meantime, I’m vastly envious of G-Seth’s maginificent blogging capacity and the wealth of entertaining stuff he manages to post.  I’m especially cheered by his post on baby naming (in honor of our dear Kari and Josh).  

The Baby Names Blog, by the way, only confirms what I’ve long held to be sound advice: Biblical names will never, ever, fall out of style.  Strong, tough names.  Daniel has been a favorite of mine for a long time and lookee here!  It’s made the top five.  I also like the name Colin, and recently Kelly, so maybe I’m just predisposed to Irish-sounding names.

(But why is Hannah falling?  That’s another one that I really like.)

If you think it’s at all strange that I think about this, I’m going to defend myself by saying that anybody who reads fiction probably has an inclination towards thinking about names in general.  It’s fun.  Flipping through a phonebook becomes interesting before long.

Actually, it’s Mother’s Day for crying out loud.  I don’t need to defend the Baby Names thing today.  Rise up and be proud, Mama’s Boys of the world.

**Update || 4:50 p.m. **

Me: “Mom! why are you vacuuming?!  We have to be at Grandma’s in ten minutes!”

Mom (in her pajamas):  ”I know, I know.  I’ll be ready, not to worry.”

Two minutes later…

Mom:  ”Don’t let me forget, we have to stop at the Chinese food place to get a menu first!”

Happy Mother’s Day.

“Blogging the summer” returns. Sigh.

Before I get into what I’ve been doing, I’m offering the usual hilarious Internet link for those readers that aren’t interested in what’s happening in my life (which, I realize, is probably all three of you).

With that in mind, LOOK AT THIS!  It’s a collection of photos of people wearing dog-hair clothing.  Literally, they take their dog’s fur and make sweaters out of it (via cracked.com).

Sometimes I just love people so much.  More about me after the break.

Do it with your eyes closed

I would be completely abdicating my responsibilities to this blog if I didn’t share this with you.

It’s called the Virtual Barbershop (via GorillaMask).  I have no idea who made it or what it’s selling, if it’s selling anything at all.  But I’ve listening to it probably 5 or 6 times today, and will likely do so a few more times before bed.

Just note, they say you must be listening to the audio clip through headphones.  Follow those instructions – don’t cheat.  And do yourself a favor and close your eyes, too.  It’s deeply unsettling.  The sounds not only have a location (which isn’t all that new – that’s basic stereo), they also have DEPTH!  It’s a lot of fun.  You probably won’t see this done as elegantly anywhere else.

Note:  The file may stop playing after Manuel introduces himself.  Just hit Play again.

 

Update:  Cetera, Luigi’s sexily whispered word at the end, refers to the Cetera algorithm, often used in hearing aid technology.  That solves that problem.

A thousand times Yes

(Via a Google search for my last name because I was bored)

You can keep your yellow dots…

…because I badly want to munch on a few of these suckers.

(via Popped Culture)

15 seemingly everyday things that I cannot do

1. Read in the bathtub.  I hate the feeling of having my hands above the hot water, and I dread the idea of dropping my book.  It’s the worst kind of torture, because it really does sound like the best way to bath.
2. Whistle.  Never have, likely never will.
3. Long division.  If my kids are expecting help with their homework, they have another thing coming.
4. Keep my room tidy.  The culprit boils down to two things: stray papers (assignments mostly) and laundry.
5. Chai tea.  I don’t get it.  It’s like Kensington Market in a drink.  That’s not a good thing.
6. Ignore the television. Seriously, I want to see what Billy Mays’ Mighty Putty can do for me.
7. Study for a test more than two days in advance.  You know, I think I WILL go for a two hour walk. In the rain.
8. See someone lighting a BBQ or a fireplace and not think darkly to myself “You’re doing it wrong”.
9. Sleep in with someone else. Because it’s such a nice DAY outside!
10. Not blog when I have an idea for a blog post.  Like making lists.
11. Fold laundry in my regular clothes.  For some reason, messing around with the warm laundry while wearing jeans has this negative reaction with my skin and I end up sweaty and itchy and tired.  It’s pajamas or nothing.
12. Go to sleep without browsing the Internet first. The Web is my first, my last, my everything.
13. Listen to music without air-drumming, -guitaring, -bassing, bouncing my feet.  *points at head* Up here, it’s fucking Royal Albert Hall every day.
14. Avoid panic when I can’t find my stupid hat.  It really doesn’t look that good on me, but I have some kind of soul connection to that hat that sends me into Fight Mode if someone takes it off of me, or hides it.  Ugh.
15. Not follow the Regular Wash Protocol when I shower.  Left arm, left collarbone, back of neck, shoulders, chest, stomach, legs, right arm, armpits, behind ears, shampoo, face, shampoo/face rinse, stand immobile under hot water for a few minutes.  In that exact order, every time.

AWOL

Everything has been busy, so I’ve not been updating much.  Pulling this website together is taking for-fucking-ever, you might say.

From The Onion…

WASHINGTON—An overwhelming sense of restlessness and impatience engulfed the U.S. this week when citizens determined that everything—the morning commute, phone conversations, getting a table at Chili’s, making coffee, commercial breaks, everything—was taking entirely too long.

[...]

Further analysis revealed that 54 percent of respondents are not getting any younger over here. Nearly 10 percent don’t understand what the big holdup is. And 23 percent are not only ready, but have been ready for the past half hour, so let’s go already.

Several thousand respondents hung up their telephones before answering all of the poll’s questions.

I promise to do my best to not slack on updates as hard as I have been.  You’re all busy people.

Editor’s Note:  Is there some kind of homosexual code I’m not aware of?  I did a Google Image search for photos relating to either “AWOL” or “missing in action” because of my non-existent blog life, sized 450px wide (a good size for this blog), and I get a disconcerting number of hits having to do with gay porn.  Seriously, what gives?

So the photo at the top had the caption “Mika’s gay fanbase mysteriously missing in action” when I found it.  In case you were wondering.